Leatherman NOT good for Raccoon knife fights

Okay, so I was looking at an REI leatherman today, see image below (of leatherman, not of me looking at it).

The top review caught my attention.  Apparently this is NOT good for knife fights.  Crap, looks like I am out of luck. Regardless, I might have to get it in order to increase my “chic magnet” arsenal.

Alas, a racoon invaded my camp and made off with the last of my chocolate chip cookies. I felt violated but who can you call? So I whipped out my trusty new Leatherman Skeletool CX and proceeded to open the blade and thust it wildly in the withering evening light. “I’ll cut you,” I cried but to no avail. The pesky bandit had made a clean getaway and my cookie was gone. I don’t plan on defusing live rounds or IEDs with this thing so the limited accessories don’t bother me. The lighter design means this is a tool I will carry, unlike my 5lb SOG multi-tool which has been pulling desk duty since it’s transfer over to my division. Do you need the CX version? Nope. There’s no weight difference but it’s cool lookin and that works for me. Get one and open a beer with it. You’ll feel manly and all your male friends will want one. Chics will dig your bold McGuyver-ness and problem solving skills.

Also, if you are reading this and work at REI as an affiliate manager, please review the email I sent you, and see that I would make a GREAT affiliate!

So can anyone recommend a better raccoon knife?  I might just have to stick to the peanut butter jar defense.